


Fragile is the flesh

by Sunflowers_And_Roses



Series: Fragile is the flesh. [1]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, BAMF Eggsy Unwin, Dean is not nice, M/M, Protective Eggsy Unwin, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Trauma, Underage - Freeform, michelle tried her best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:35:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23655454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunflowers_And_Roses/pseuds/Sunflowers_And_Roses
Summary: For every person you love - even if you only love them for a second, you get a black line. These lines make a sort of ‘tattoo’. When you touch your soulmate you get colour and those colours spread out like water colour to the edges of your ‘tattoo’, which lines can be added to even if your soulmate dies.Eggsy was five when the world as he knew it ended and he tried so hard to do well but life went another way.What if things had been worse than Kingsman records showed? What if Eggsy's life had been harder than they thought?
Series: Fragile is the flesh. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703206
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	1. Life started out good for Garry.

**Author's Note:**

> In the middle of re-writing some old fics, so will probably be updated infrequently.  
> This isn't particularly pleasant for Eggsy, if you don't like it don't read but for me with all the shady shit Dean seems to be involved in and the quitting of sports and the rent boy comment made in the pub bad things happened to Eggsy. This is a story that spans from a scene I got stuck in my head taking those things into account.  
> The age of consent in the UK is 16, however there may be mentions of underage shiz happening. 
> 
> I do not in anyway condone the bad stuff that happens to Eggsy but its written in as an exploration of what could've happened and I'm a sucker for recovery and happy endings.

Life started out good for Garry. His parents loved him and they worked hard to make sure he had everything he needed. They weren’t rich by any standards, but they got by, and if they lived in a slightly rougher part of London, well they could always move if it got worse; and besides, it was within the catchment area for a school and near the hospital his Ma worked at. 

Garry; otherwise known as Eggsy, was a very energetic young boy. It had been Michelle’s idea to put Eggsy into tumble tots - a club for toddlers to go to, they taught them roly polies and stuff like that, it was a good way to keep the kids engaged in something other than TV or causing trouble. Eggys had taken to it like a duck to water and Lee and Michelle liked being able to just relax for a few hours which is probably why as soon as Eggys got too old for tumble tots Michelle found him a proper gymnastics club - which he loved even more. 

Michelle and Lee were very proud of their son and they had good reason to be Eggsy made friends easily with all the other kids in their apartment block and all anyone had to say about him was how polite and kind hearted their boy was. Eggsy wanted to be friends with everyone and so he was, it had been difficult at first - there had been some language barriers to overcome but Eggsy was young and bright and he was soon almost fluent in every language spoken in the block of flats and considered himself friends with everyone in the flats as well. It helped that he got lots of practice as his parents organised lots of play dates with the other children and a lot of the older couples were always happy to look after Eggys for a few hours so his parents could have a date night a few times a week.

His first day of school had been daunting but Eggsy soon forgot those first few minutes as by the end of the day he’d made more friends and impressed his teacher. Eggsy flourished. His teachers noted how bright and well behaved he was, he joined a mixed martial arts class and was praised for his patience and hard work, he made and maintained friendships with ease, he was exceptional at languages, his gymnastic coach had high hopes for him and encouraged him to enter the regional under tens gymnastics - a competition Eggsy came second place in - his parents had been ecstatic. 

In short Eggsy’s life was perfect. 

Until it wasn’t. His parents were quieter than usual, they laughed less, looked more worried with every passing day. Eggsy didn’t know what was the matter, they’d stopped going out so often, or at all for that matter. 

He was staying with different neighbors or friends every day, it seemed his parents didn’t have any time recently, they certainly had little time for him. He voiced these opinions one day, and was given a very frank explanation. They were short of money, they’d be taking extra shifts, more jobs, but it didn’t mean they didn’t love him anymore, or any less than before, just because they didn’t go out didn’t mean they didn’t love him, and he was asked to keep it to himself. 

“A secret, just between us three grown ups, yeah? His da had whispered, Eggsy had nodded eagerly, desperate to keep his updated status, his ma had smiled but agreed, nodding solemnly. 

Things stayed that way for a while, Eggsy didn't really mind though now he was in on the grown up secret. 

Mondays he would stay with Meilin and her family. Her dad would always get them to help with dinner after gymnastics, Eggsy had found the chopsticks hard to use at first but he soon figured them out. Meilin was loud and funny and would often whisper about people to Eggsy in Chinese or Japanese. Her Dad was Japanese and the quiet omega always had time for Meilin, he always seemed to have sweets which just made Eggsy like him even more. Meilin's mum was a lot like Meilin, the alpha was very loud and always had new stories to tell, but Eggsy's favourite ones were always about soulmates. Meilin's mum said that soulmates were tied together by an invisible red string of fate and that when soulmates touched for the first time both the ends of the string touched as well and that's why you got colour in your soulmarks when you touched, because the string had made a loop. Their flat was bigger than Eggsy's but he guessed that was because all of Meilin’s grandparents lived with them. 

Tuesdays he would stay with Mrs Bisset his next door after gymnastics, she was a small french beta who always baked pastries and breads with him. She smelt like flowers and warm bread and always insisted Eggsy danced with her after dinner, Eggsy didn't mind though - she used to dance with her soulmate but she died in a car crash so Eggsy figured it was the least he could do. She had lots of stories about when she lived in France and Eggsy often watched french films with her after they danced. Eggsy particularly liked how she talked about soulmates, she thought that atoms that were together at the start of the universe came back together, that they were drawn to each other and that when soulmates touched and these atoms were reunited a tiny big bang happened again which is why the colours filled out “like matter filled out the universe”. Eggsy didn’t quite understand all of it when she first said it but she explained all of the confusing bits and he soon understood. 

Wednsdays he would go to martial arts with Poppy, she was mute but she’d taught Eggsy sign language so they talked just fine. Poppy was rather tall and could sign faster than Eggsy could read, they would spend hours at the park together after martial arts, playing until the sky changed colour and then they’d go back to Poppy’s apartment and watch film and eat dinner. They’d always walk Eggsy back to his apartment even though he was a grown up now, though as it was a grown up secret, so maybe the fact he was a grown up now was a secret as well.

Thursdays he’d go to gymnastics with Meilin and then he’d go to Aaban’s apartment. Aaban’s mum would make them help with dinner, Eggsy had been overwhelmed by the spices and how fast they all spoke Urdu at first but he soon got used to it. Aaban’s mum was a loud omega, who wore colourful headscarves and smelt like spices and warm air and would always give Eggsy and Aaban extra food. 

Fridays he’d go to gymnastics with Meilin and then go to Mrs Bisset’s. They’d make fish and watch old french movies and dance. Mrs Bisset would always insist that everyone should know how to dance and that English people didn't dance nearly as much as they should.

The weekends were his favourite though. He would go to Gymnastics all morning and then his Da would pick him up and they’d go home and his Da would would make lunch and they’d watch movies together. Eggsy’s favourite were the spy films, he just loved them, the spies were always so cool. When his Ma came home they’d go on a walk or play games until dinner and then his Da would read him Spies before he went to sleep. It was Eggsy’s favourite book ever. The book was about two British alpha spies who went on all sorts of adventures, they uncovered secret plots, hacked into databases, disabled bombs, went undercover, visited all-around the world and blended in seamlessly, ordering martinis in suits and chatting up models in private clubs that had diamond chandeliers and marble floors- and all in a different language! They broke up drug rings and stopped assassinations, they saved the world at least twice and rescued royals and omegas; that was until one of them died. He was shot by an enemy spy, and his partner had to go home and tell the dead man's beta wife that he’d died in a car crash, she’d never know about all the amazing things her husband had done. The second spy had gone on to kill the enemy and retire in a exotic country with a villa and a beautiful omega wife, and it turned out that the other spy wasn’t actually dead, he just needed to protect his family by faking his own death, his partner had called it going ghost. And he came back to his wife and continued to save the world.

Things went back to how they were before when his Da got a new job somewhere, and it was top secret, he was in the army or something and he was basically a superhero. Eggsy still went to his friends houses after school though because his dad was away a lot and his mum still worked late. 

Things were great, well apart from that his da was away a lot. But it was okay, cause he was a big boy; basically a grown up now and he was never away for too long, he’d nearly always be back for the weekends. The weekends his da were home were the best ones. They’d do everything together and everything seemed ten times better than normal, even if it was just staying home. Eggsy hated the end of the weekend though, that was when his Da had to leave. He cried the first few times he left, but he didn’t do that anymore, he’d still get sad though; he missed his Da when he was away. 

He still made it to Eggsy's gymnastic tournament though, the tournament was right after his birthday which meant his Da came home for his birthday and his tournament. Eggsy’s heart had been pounding so hard he could hear it, he’d looked around at all the people and nearly asked if he could just go home but his coach went through it all with him and reminded him of all the time he’d put in. Eggsy barely remembered competing, it was a blur but he remembered coming second place, how his Da had lifted him up over his shoulders on the way out, how his mum and whooped so loudly a few people seemed concerned and how proud of him his coach was. He was allowed whatever he wanted for dinner that night, he’d had pizza and ice cream with all the toppings.

His Da was leaving for a month now though, it was the longest he’d been away yet. He was standing with his suitcase, a smart shirt on, his fox seeming to gleam on his arm.  
“C’om on Michelle, I’ll be back before you know it.” He whispered into his Ma’s ear as she hugged him tightly. His Ma stepped back, smiling proudly, her swan visible over the back of her top. “And you,” his Da said turning to him “Be good and look after your mum for me, yeah Eggsy?” his Da hugged him for what would be the last time.  
“You’ll teach me how to make a fire?” Eggsy asked eagerly, breathing in his Da’s scent as his Ma laughed at his eagerness.  
“Yeah, and all sorts of other cool things,” His Da grinned, pulling away from him and opening the door, “See you guys in a month.” And with that his Da had left.

\---

Eggsy’s five when the world as he knew it ended. A man came knocking and told his mum that his da was dead, he knew what that had meant of course he was five; not an idiot, his da with warm hugs, rumbling laughter and the silent comfort of an alpha, who’d promised to teach him all sorts of cool thing when he’d got back; except he wasn’t coming back, not to teach Eggsy how to do a handstand or how to make a fire without a lighter, no - he was coming back in a casket. 

He watches as his mum breaks down and is lead to the sofa by the alpha with brown hair and a sharp suit on, he sits on the floor and plays with a snow globe his da had got him as he watches his mum slap the alphas hand away and pretends not to have heard a word of their conversation especially the part about the favour and Oxfords not Brogues, he snuck fleeting glances at the man on his sofa , his scent smelling like freshly cut grass and fire - a powerful alpha his mind supplies, because even at this age he was good at scents or that's what his Da had said anyways. His da was especially proud of him and would play games with him, hiding a packet of his favourite sweets somewhere in the apartment and calling him his smart pup when he found them, ruffling his hair and nicking a sweet or two from the packet. He shook away the memories as the alpha sighed and crouched down in front of him and handed him a cold medal and a few words of encouragement before darting out the door as fast as he’d came in, leaving his mum of the sofa still sobbing and a cold foreboding feeling to settle in his gut. It was the last time he’d remembered feeling his age.

His Da had always been there, he’d kinda just assumed he always would be; only he wasn’t, and Eggsy didn’t quite know what to do. 

They had wandered around for the next few weeks in a daze; both Eggsy and his Ma stiffening suddenly as they were reminded of him. The apartment was full of memories that would go off like landmines, stealing their breath and catching sobs in their throats.

The kettle. His Da making his coffee in the morning, sitting at the small table with his breakfast and newspaper. Sometimes Eggsy would read it once his Da was done, sometimes he’d sit on his lap and read it with him. ‘How one beta rose to the top’ ‘Top ten ways to improve your scent’ ‘This Alphas omega was kidnapped and held hostage: see how he got him back alive’ His Ma smiling at them as they read through the paper.

The sofa. His parent snuggling together on the sofa watching boring films or them all watching something together. He and his Da watching football together. His Da hiding sweets under cushions

The door. His Da standing with his suitcase, a smart shirt on, his fox seemed to gleam on his arm. “C’om on Michelle, I’ll be back before you know it.” He whispered into his Ma’s ear as she hugged him tightly. His Ma stepped back, smiling proudly, her swan visible over the back of her top. “And you,” his Da said turning to him “Be good and look after your mum for me, yeah Eggsy?” his Da hugged him for what would be the last time.  
“You’ll teach me how to make a fire?” Eggsy asked eagerly, breathing in his Da’s scent as his Ma laughed at his eagerness.  
“Yeah, and all sorts of other cool things,” His Da grinned, pulling away from him and opening the door, “See you guys in a month.” And with that his Da had left.

Everything had painful memories attached. It felt like a gaping wound, a bullet hole providing constant pain but occasionally flaring up, sending agonising spasms of pain ricocheting through them. The TV was on constantly, filling up the silence and covering quiet sobs that his Ma thought he couldn’t hear.

Things had seemed alright at first, at least his Ma tried to act as if things were, but Eggsy had seen through his mums act instantly. He knew she had to get a second job and had heard her sobbing to Poppy’s mum, about bills and the rent going up and how “they didn’t even give me his fucking pension, my husbands dead and Eggsy’s growing up so fast and- I just don’t know how to cope with Lee gone, Eggsys needs a father figure and I'm just one person and look at me, I’m falling to pieces. I'm barely earning enough to keep us going” before breaking off into sobs’ again.


	2. Chapter 2

His Da had always been there, he’d kinda just assumed he always would be; only he wasn’t, and Eggsy didn’t quiet know what to do. They had his funeral a week after the alpha visited, two weeks before Christmas.

The first few weeks had been awful, waves of pain slamming into them when they remembered and crushing guilt when they forgot. 

The funeral had by far been the worst though. He wore a suit, he would have been exited about looking like a spy in one of those films they’d watched together, if the memory hadn’t bought tears to his eyes and made his throat close up like someone was choking him. The shirt was itchy, its collar stiff and tight around his neck. 

He’d sat quietly in the car as his Mum had driven them to the funeral, he’d stared out of the window, gazing at the blue sky and frost crisped grass as it whirled past, his red rimmed eyes glaring at the blurring scenery that dared appeared so normal, happy even- there should’ve been thunderstorms and torrential rain, a flood or snow storm of biblical proportions, a thunderstorm that screamed like he wanted to, to crash and rumble, to strike the ground like an angry God, to hurl hail and rain down. Anything that wasn’t so normal, that wasn’t just like another day- like he wasn’t burying his Dad, he wished for something to let everyone else know that it wasn’t a normal day, that it was a horrible one.

He’d hated the service. He glared at the man acting as if he knew his Da, saying how good of a person he was and how he’ll be missed by everyone. Eggsy already knew all of that, his glare deepened as the man started to talk about what his Da had done in life. How dare he? How dare this, this pretender stand there and pretend to care? He’d never know his Da, never know how his eyes crinkled when he smiled, how his fox curled around his arm and peeked out of the necks of his t-shirts, he didn’t care how he’d chase Eggsy's nightmares away or threw him in the air or – his Mum elbowed him “Behave.” She whispered through tears. 

Eggsy shrunk into his seat, feeling bad, he glanced at the closed coffin behind the man and swallowed back sobs of his own. By the end of the service Eggsy didn’t bother to hide his tears, what was the point? Eggsy had hung behind his Ma as the plain coffin was taken outside. He watched as the four alphas lifted the coffin onto their shoulders, he wondered why there was no flag, no medals – nothing to show that his Da had died a superhero. 

Come to think of it that alpha that had come to tell them wasn’t even here, no one apart from a handful of friends and family was there. No smartly dressed Alphas, no whiff of freshly cut grass and fire, no flowers or anything else for that matter sent by them, no acknowledgement of his Da’s heroics- nothing. The military branch his Da had died for seemed like ghosts, nothing but a memory of one to prove their existence.  
A sudden surge of anger swelled within Eggsy, his Da had died for them and they couldn’t even be bothered to show to his funeral? And why? Just ‘cause he wasn’t posh like that alpha? Because they lived in a flat? Because they lived in a rougher area? Because he didn’t matter to them? Because they didn’t care? Was his Da just another number to them? Another dead alpha from a cheap area?

Eggsy's anger mixing with an enormous sense of loss and guilt as he watched the box containing his Da get lowered into the cold ground. No longer bothering to even try to hide his tears Eggsy sobbed openly, the arm of his ma wrapped tightly around his shoulders as he threw a handful of dirt onto the coffin. 

Eggsy curled up in his bed that night and cried, he didn’t know what he was going to do, he didn’t know how they’d live without his Da. Eggsy felt lost, sure his Da had been away before, for weeks or months even- but he’d always come back. Eggsy would always see his Da again, at the door sometimes with something he’d picked up for them on the way over, sometimes with nothing, but he’d be there, here, home. 

Eggsy sometimes felt as though it was all a horrible nightmare, that he’d wake up in a cold sweat, heart pounding and his Da would be here to chase the nightmares away. He couldn’t quite believe his Da was gone, that he’d died. It was worse when his Ma had to nip out, to get something for dinner she didn’t need to cook, or to get some groceries. He didn’t like being alone, even for such short periods of time, it was when he was alone that he had to face his feelings, his guilt. It was his fault his Da died, he knew it. If he’d had said he didn’t want him to go, if he’d just said then his da would be alive. If he’d just said something his Ma wouldn’t be so sad, she’d be happy and his Da wouldn’t be locked in a casket six feet under in the cold. He just had to look after his Ma now, like Da wanted. The next day Eggsy was glad for gymnastics, he’d insisted on going, he needed something normal to do, something to distract himself. 

Christmas that year was awful; opening presents from him so soon after learning they’d never see him again was like opening bombs. Each carefully wrapped present brought its own shock waves, emotions crashing over them like a tsunami. It didn’t feel real, opening presents picked out by him, reading cards and tags written in his handwriting. The presents left under the tree were the worst, carefully wrapped reminders of their loss. Standing like soldiers under the twinkling lights of the tree. 

He does his best to make things easier on his Ma, keeping the house as clean as he could, packing his own lunches so she didn’t have to get up earlier or stay up later to make them and he doesn’t ask for sweets or toys or anything like that. He still went to Meilin’s and Mrs Bisset’s and Aaban’s and Poppy’s after school, only he’d stay a bit longer now. 

He threw himself into school and gymnastics and mixed martial arts, he welcomed the distractions - anything to keep him from thinking about the gaping hole in his chest or how wrong it felt that his Da would never come home. Eggsy hated being at the apartment, his Da’s scent got weaker by the hour and it felt like his world was crumbling around him and there was no was he could hold it together. He’d often cry into his pillow at night,he didn't know how he was meant to look after his Ma when he couldn’t stop crying over the memories, he was scared they’d disappear too, like his scent so Eggsy clung onto them even though it felt like grabbing broken glass. The memories were painful but he felt guilty enough about the scent that was disappearing from the apartment, from his clothes, from everything, he couldn't let the memories disappear as well.

It was hard going to sleep when the flat smelt so empty, so wrong. Which is why he was sat on his floor flicking through the row of books on his shelf, it was then he found the book his Da would read him - Spies. He’d only opened it in the hopes some of his Da’s scent would still be clinging to it but he ended up reading it cover to cover, seeing shocking parallels between the book and his Da - he was convinced that his dad was a spy going ghost and would come back any day now, saying how sorry he was but he’d had to save the world and protect them, it sounded like something his da would do he decided. He was convinced that was what had happened, which was why the alpha that reeked power and had worn a suit that probably cost more that the rent on their apartment had told them da had died. The alpha was probably his Da’s partner and that's why he didn't come to the funeral because he was out saving the world with his Da!

\--  
Eggsy threw himself into school, he also picked up swimming - anything to keep him away from the emptiness of flat, he knew his Da might be a while, saving the world might take a while, or he could be on an undercover mission and it would take a while, so he knew the emptiness in the flat wouldn't last forever but with every passing day he found it harder and harder not to tell his Ma. but he'd promised that he’d keep Ma safe and he knew she wouldn't be safe if she knew the truth, the bad guys could come after her and if she thought he was dead they would have to leave.

Blow after blow seemed to rain down on them after his dad's funeral, he wished his Da would just come home already, the hope he would be sat on the sofa when he got home was getting draining. The first blow came in the form of his mum picking up extra jobs and shifts. 

He rarely saw her now, she was always working. She was doing shifts at the hospital or stocking shelves. She’d lost weight as well, she thought he didn't notice how she never ate with him, how there was barely food in the fridge, how it was all covered in ‘reduced’ labels. The radiators in the flat were always cold and the same for the water, Eggsy knew it was bad - he was getting free school breakfasts and lunches at school. Eggsy was worried, his Da had told him to look after his Ma and he couldn't even do that. 

The next blow came in the form of Mrs Bisset’s death. Eggsy had found her, he had used the spare key to let himself in after the door hadn't been opened after 10 minutes. It had been awful. The stench made him gag but he crept further in anyways, he saw her sat in her arm chair, he reached out and shook her arm. He’ll never forget how cold she felt to his touch, how a fly crawled over her glass eyes, how her skin was waxen and green, deep purple bruises covering the underside of her arms. His touch had caused her to loll forward in her chair, flopping like a rag doll. He had stumbled back, tears rolling down his face as shock set in, he had called the police sobbing, fixed in place as if glued to the carpet, staring as the flies he disturbed return to crawl over her. That's how the police had found him, staring at her corpse and sobbing uncontrollably. It had been two betas that arrived first, one had seemed visibly uncomfortable dealing with him and swiftly left to look around. The other beta, the one that smelled like lemons and vanilla and soft had been the one to speak to him and take him outside whilst they removed her body. He watched as they wheeled her out covered in a white sheet. 

Her funeral had been horrific, it was just Eggsy and his Ma sat on the cold pews singing hymns in the empty church, their songs echoing off the walls only seeming to exaggerate the emptiness. It turned out that Mrs Bisset had no one else left and she had left everything to Eggsy and his Ma. It also turned out that everything was three thousand pounds and everything in the flat. His Ma had sold everything in the flat apart from her recipe books and a sturdy silver chain which Eggsy kept. He threaded the medal onto the chain and put the recipe books on his shelf in his room, he wondered for a second if he was cured to be miserable, to just hurt those around him. He slumped onto his bed. Maybe it was his fault they died. If he’d just told his Da not to go, if he’d just checked on Mrs Bisset. He shook his head as if to dislodge the thoughts, no, his Da was alive, he was just saving the world and he’d be back any day and Mrs Bisset was just old, he couldn’t have known. The logic did nothing to dislodge the guilt though, did nothing to shift the sense of responsibility he felt. 

His Ma started to eat more though and the water ran hot for nearly a whole week after the will reading, she also explained how she’d opened an account for him with a thousand pounds for when he was older, how it was what Mrs Bisset had wanted. Eggsy now spent his Tuesdays and Fridays with a baby sitter, he didn’t mind of course, Rose was very nice but he saw how much money his Ma left on the side for her. He saw how his Ma had stopped eating again. It had been a month since Mrs Bisset died and as much as he liked Rose - the omega always found something to make meals from and smelt like chemicals and oranges it was an odd scent but always made Eggsy feel oddly safe, he brought it up with his Ma. 

Eggsy explained how he could cook his own dinner and that he was old enough to be left on his own now, besides it was only for two nights a week, she’d argued at first but caved quickly Eggsy knew it was because she spent more on paying Rose than she did on the shopping. And so he learnt to take care of himself, he learnt how to hide the burns and cuts he gets from trying to cook himself dinner, learns how to cry quietly when he had a nightmare and doesn’t want to wake her up. But none of that matters ‘cause he’s gonna take care of her like his da always told him to, like the alpha that reeked of power had told him to do. 

The year passed in a blur, teachers sung his praises, he came second place in the regional under 10’s gymnastics again, no one had anything bad to say about him but it didn't help - his ma was still struggling, he could tell and to make it worse his Da’s scent had completely gone. 

Christmas without his Da had been hard but Eggsy couldn't decide if it was better or worse than the last one.There was no presents from his Da to open, only crushing guilt that engulfed them every time they had a happy moment without him, it felt like a betrayal. Eggsy had hoped his Da would’ve turned up, he didn't even care if he didn't bring any presents. But his Da didn't turn up. He and his Ma had spent most of the day on the sofa watching DVDs, neither one of them acknowledging the emptiness or wrongness they felt. 

\---

The next two years passed quickly. Two rough looking betas had moved in next door into Mrs Bisset’s flat and slowly people started moving away. Meilin was the first to go, her Mum had gotten a new job on the other side of London. Eggsy and Meilin had both cried as they hugged goodbye. Eggsy was now on his own in the flat for an extra night a week, he’d gotten a lot better at cooking without supervision and he rarely hurt himself now. 

More rough looking people had moved into Meilin’s old apartment. Eggsy didn't really take much notice of that though, he threw himself further into mixed martial arts and swimming and gymnastics, he’d progressed dramatically in all of them. He’d even started taking place in tournaments for mixed martial arts, his instructor was sure he could be a pro. He had started learning to free dive, he’d seen a leaflet pinned up in the pool changing room and it had caught his attention immediately, it seemed like a good spy skill and he imagined how proud his da would be of him when he finally got home. It was gymnastics that his Ma was most proud of him for though, he had come first in the regional under tens and his coach said he could be Olympic team material. 

Aaban was the next to leave, his mum had another kid and they needed a bigger flat. It had been tough to say goodbye, Aaban’s Dad told him to alpha up when he got teary eyed though and both kids had quickly wiped their eyes “Acting like a pair of omegas both of you.” he had muttered as they did so. 

Eggsy suddenly realised how alone he was, he still had Poppy though so there was that. Eggsy came first again in the next regional under ten’s gymnastic tournament and he was winning almost every fight his coach entered him in. The block of flats had become a significantly rougher area in this time however, the smell of what he learnt to be weed hung over the flats like a shroud and it was now common to see people hanging around in tracksuits with beer in one hand and a fag in the other. Poppy was left shortly after his gymnastics tournament, her mum was just too worried about her in “a place like this had become, we just need something more family friendly ya know?” Eggsy had cried as they signed goodbye, he felt more alone than he had in years, all his friends were gone. 

The next year had been incredibly lonely for Eggsy. He spent a lot of time in the schools library sat on his own pouring over the books, his favourites were the books on languages - he was too grown up for the fake stories about omegas being rescued or alphas going on incredible adventures or betas facing the odds and becoming cops or spies proving themselves every bit as worthy as their alpha counterparts. No Eggsy preferred non fiction, he liked learning new languages or skills, learning new facts. He figured his Da was coming back any day now and he was determined to make him proud. 

The tournament came around quickly that year, Eggsy was determined to win for the third year in a row. He was determined to make his da proud, only just as he launched himself into the air he thought he saw his da in the audience, his whole move was thrown off. He managed to recover it but he knew the slip up would cost him first place. Eggsy was right, he came second and after his routine there was no sight of his Da anywhere.

\---

Four years after the alpha visited and he still remembers the words Oxfords not Brogues, he couldn’t make sense of them no matter how hard he’d tried but he remembered them anyway, like a weird fact or the way his da’s eyes crinkled when he smiled. Eggsy had even snuck into the school’s computer room and googled Oxford and Brogues separately but the only thing that had come up were shoes.

It was at this point his mum had told him about Dean, her boyfriend. He had been about to pitch a fit about how da was coming home and that he wasn’t really dead, just going ghost, until he had seen his mums face, and realised how happy she has seemed in the past few months and how anxious she looked now, so instead of pitching a fit he swallowed his argument and acted like he was exited about this Dean and told his mum he sounded great. Besides, he’d thought, this was probably all part of da’s plan, to make sure mum was looked after, he probably wasn’t actually a-come to think of it mum had said she didn’t know what he did for a living, anyway he was probably really a spy, from dads agency sent to make sure they were looked after. 

Anyway he thought whilst staring at his ceiling, it was probably best that he didn’t tell mum about da not really being dead and only going ghost, as he’d only pretended to be dead to protect them, and it wasn’t the agencies fault he’d figured it out, his da had always said he was too smart for his own good and he’d promised both his da and the alpha who was most likely da’s partner that he’d take care of his mum, so that’s what he’d do. He went to sleep that night imagining his da boasting about him to all his spy friends before he went ghost, and all the adventures he was getting up to right now, and all the cool things he was doing, like driving expensive cars as fast as they could go down sandy roads in desert cities, or decked out to the nines pretending to be an important businessman, and disabling bombs and ordering martinis shaken not stirred like they do in all good spy films, and maybe even jumping from planes!

He meets Dean that weekend, he’s rough, loud and all alpha posturing and cloying scent that makes Eggsy want to cough, but mums face lights up when she sees him so he grins and introduces himself, holding out his hand in that smooth way that he’s seen spies do on the telly, but the man just laughs, ignoring his out stretched hand completely and slaps him on the back, hard. Eggsy doesn’t mention it though or let the pain show on his face and ignores it like the way he doesn’t protest or correct the man when he calls him “muggsy” instead of Eggsy as the man’s an agent and probably not used to being around people his age, so he grins and sips at the can of coke his mum had got him as they chat and generally ignore him. But it doesn’t matter because mum’s smiling like she used to and she’s happier than he’s seen her in two years. As he watches them he feels a surge of gratitude towards Dean, Mums rabbit had two whole ears now he noticed, later that night he catches a glimpse of a new line just above his elbow, away from the rest of his lines. 

Eggsy was covered in lines like everyone usually was at his age, when you’re young is usually when you make more friends and love them quicker after all. Some people could tell what their soulmarks would be by now, some people in his class had very obvious suggestions or even outlines by now. Some people were lucky and got outlines first, others started with the other lines, that was the thing with soulmarks you never knew when they’d finished, a new line could appear at any moment and all of a sudden you realised how wrong it looked without it there. Eggsy still didn't know what his was though, his shoulder blades and the back of his arms were covered in seemingly random lines, some of which curled around to the front of his arm.

It’s a few month later when mum comes home and tells him she’s marrying Dean, he smiles and tells her that it’s great and that he couldn’t be more excited, whilst he silently wonders why da would tell someone else to marry his wife, but then again, he thinks, he’s not a spy, so what would he know, da probably just got delayed or caught up in an even more dangerous mission and knows it will take longer to finish so wants to make sure they’re safe at all times, like in case they got burgled or som'int. 

Besides, he thinks it's not like Dean will ever be his da, but maybe they can be family someday as he’s probably great friends with da to be marrying his wife and all, even if it’s just for cover. Anyway Dean seems nice in a gruff sort of way, and who was he to stop his mum smiling like that?


	3. Chapter 3

Eggsy’s wrong about that - about Dean, about a lot of things he comes to realise.

Deans not nice.  
Not for long anyway.  
Not at all he realizes.  
But it’s too late by the time they realise it, because mums already married the posturing alpha with an inflated ego, and tied both herself and Eggsy to the man. “For better or for worse.” Eggsy scoffs at the memory, definitely for the worse. 

\--- 

His Ma had looked so happy, holding Dean’s hands at the altar. His shirt had been itchy, and its collar too stiff, it had almost been suffocating. He had half been waiting for his Da to walk through the doors, dressed to the nines, and casually announce ‘weddings off folks’ or something similar - but he never did. 

His Da was probably saving the world again, delayed by some super villain who wanted to destroy the world. That was probably why they got married so soon, his Da had probably told Dean he’d be away for longer - that he had to save the world again. 

Dean and his Ma looked happy though. Eggsy had been allowed alcohol though, he’d asked his Ma and Dean had said he could drink as much as he wanted, his Ma hadn’t looked too pleased but Dean made her smile with a few whispered words so Eggsy took that as a yes. 

Eggsy wasn’t too keen on the beer one of Dean's friends had handed him. Eggsy decided he liked Dean's friends, they treated him like an adult. They took him to the bar and vowed they wouldn’t leave until they found a drink he liked, they didn’t word it that way, but Eggsy knew what they meant. Eggsy didn’t like most of the drinks, he didn’t like beer or wine or gin or whiskey, Dean's friends laughed as he pulled faces, downing the discarded drinks themselves. Eggsy did however like the peach schnapps and the shots and the cider. Dean's friends laughed at him for liking the schnapps, but cheered him on when he downed the shots, he choked on the first few but got the hang of it quickly. 

Ella had dragged him away, she’d sat him down and made him eat lots of bread sticks and drink lots of water. She’d also told him to not have anymore grown up drinks, but he could have as much food and drinks that weren’t alcoholic as he wanted. The alpha had stuck with him for a while after that. He'd asked if her and Poppy were going to be moving back soon but Ella said they wouldn't be coming back, that Poppy was in a better school now.

Things had been good after the wedding, his Ma was happy. She wasn’t worrying about bills or Eggsy. Then, about a month later, it stopped being good. Eggsy didn’t notice it getting bad until it was really bad. He couldn’t even remember how it had started, a few snips here and there maybe, a couple of overly hard ‘playful’ taps. Eggsy didn't know. He had taken to sleeping in the corner of his room under his bed with his arms or pillows covering his head so that the sounds of snarling and spitting and yelling weren’t as loud. Eggsy's never been more frightened in his life but his mum assured him it was fine. He started to get up earlier and disappearing with his school bag slung over his shoulders before He woke from his drug or alcohol or sometimes even both induced stupor. His mum tries to hide him from the fighting, telling him to go out and play when she senses one coming or if it’s particularly late, to go to his room. Eggsy blamed his Da for a while. Why would he let someone so vicious anywhere near his family? He blames himself more though. After he realised that his Da probably didn’t know, that Dean was most definitely not a spy, at least not one of the good ones. Eggsy hates how he though something was off about Dean but was so stupid he didn’t mention it, his Da had told him to look after his Mum and he let her get married to a stranger, an alpha that spits and yells and hits and does illegal things in their house. 

\---

Time drags on and he fiddles with his da’s medal so often he’s scared he’ll wear it down, he keeps it hidden under his clothes and makes sure Dean never sees it or he’ll for sure try and cash in on it. He’d stopped believing in ghosts and had stopped putting his faith in dead men when he first intercepted a blow meant for his mum and Dean had turned is attentions to Eggsy as well.

Eggsy loathes himself when he sees his mum tug at her hair, pulling it to cover what the makeup can’t. Eggsy hates how its all his fault, how if he’d have said something maybe they wouldn’t have gotten married and his mum wouldn’t be covering, or at least trying to cover a black eye. So that night when he hears the snarls start he doesn’t hide under his bed like a pup, like a coward. He’s ten not some kid anymore! He opens his bedroom door. He can hear his heart pounding in his ears over the argument.

“I don’t want your stupid drugs in my body or in my house! For gods sake Dean what happened to you?” 

This is the part were he’d shrink further under his bed, enshroud himself in the dark and push the pillow down over his ears harder to hopefully he wouldn’t hear the whack. But this was not then, Eggsy gritted his teeth and walked forward.

“Mum?” 

His Da’s words ringing in his ears.

“Eggsy, go back to bed babes, it’s okay.”

His heart pounding.

“No.”

Dean swaying slightly.

“Eggsy please.”

His mums tear streaked face.

“Now that is no way to talk to your mum Muggsy”

Deans friends shifted on the sofa.

“Dean, leave him be. Please. He’s just a kid.”

Slap.

“Leave my Ma be!” he yelled.

His mums face frozen in horror.

“Dean please, don’t. Eggsy go to your room now.” His mum was frantic. Dean was  
angry.

“I will not tolerate that sort of disrespect in my house Michelle!” he yelled leaning in spittle flying everywhere “Boys!”

Deans friends grabbed his ma as Dean stalked towards him. 

His Ma screaming, thrashing in their grip until a needle of heroin found its way into her arm and she stilled soon after.

His heart was pounding. Suddenly he didn’t feel so brave. Deans fist connected with his jaw, sending him sprawling. His heart beat drowned out all other noise. He stared at the carpet fibres, curled in a ball his arms wrapped tight around him. Deans foot stomped down on his arm, Eggsy screamed as it crunched under Deans foot, waves of pain crashing over him. Eggsy whimpered, tears and snot mingling on his face.  
“Think you seem to think you’re so tough Muggsy, you can start earning me some money, make up for the disrespect you’ve been showing me.” Dean spat. 

Eggsy collapsed on his bed, gasping in desperate lungfuls through the pain and the tears. His arm wasn't right, it was already swollen and bruised and radiating shock waves of pain. But worst of all, his Ma had still been hurt. He despised himself, he was crying like an omega, too weak to even help his mum It was at that moment, crying, alone and hurt he stopped believing in ghosts, his dad was dead, he’d died and he’d left them. Dean was his fault, if he hadn’t been so stupid, thinking his Da was coming home any day now, they would be okay, they would be safe.

\------

Michelle didn’t know how she got here. She felt like the frog in that fable - the water had slowly been heating and she hadn’t realised it was boiling until now. 

She hated herself, she hated the situation she’d put her kid in, she despised her own naivety. She’d just been struggling so badly, the debt had been piling up and Dean, Dean had come swooping in like this white knight to save her. He was charming and he understood her and he got on with her son and her he finally had a father figure again. She didn’t have to worry about being evicted because she couldn’t pay rent, she could keep her son in his hobbies, she could feed them both properly, could give them hot water again, could take less shifts and have more family time and she found someone to love her again which was so rare. She had been lonely and scared and Dean had been her saving angel.

In retrospect nothing he’d ever done had been for her, not really. As soon as they got married he put the flat in his name and paid the full rent “now you can just worry about paying off your debt babe, I ain’t going nowhere don't worry.” She had quit her job at the supermarket and she’d been taking less shifts and she’d been stupid and put all her savings into paying off the debt. All it took was a handful of sweet words and affection and she didn't even question him, god she was pathetic. She was pathetic and naive and she hated the line that finished her rabbit's ear. She hated that she fell for him, that she brought him into their lives. 

Dean owned her home, she had no savings and nowhere to go. She was trapped.

She knew hiding the bruises was wrong but he's always been so apologetic and she knew she set him off sometimes, she knew it wasn't his fault not really, Dean had had a rough life but they’d been working on it. 

But this, her kid, this was too far. She’d tried to make a stand, to draw a line - she was fair game but her kid, her Eggsy, her bright beautiful kind boy was off bounds. It hadn’t gone well. Dean didn’t take kindly to people telling him what to do. “So go to the police then, you’re the one they’ll take him away from. You’ve got no proof I’ve done anything, I could just say it was you, everyone knows how the stress has been getting to you. Besides, you know what happens to kids in the system, and really with all the drugs in your system you'll be lucky if they even let you see him again. ” his threats stung more than the hits ever would, she couldn't lose her baby, not after losing Lee.

After that night it was like being a passenger on a crashing plane, she knew it was going down but she couldn't do anything about it.  
\---  
She guessed her stand had been too far because within a week she’d been fired. Some bullshit complaint had been filed against her, apparently someone has seen her abuse a patient and had seen her steal drugs. She’d sobbed when she’d been called into the office and fired. She was dependent on Dean now, she had no one left to turn to, the only place she’d get hired would be jobs that paid by the hour and she wouldn't make nearly enough money to keep the apartment and look after Eggsy. Dean controlled her life now and he knew it. She would've laughed if she wasn't so horrified, she didn't think he even had the brains to pull something like that off. Only now did she recognise what had happened, how he manipulated her, made her feel like no one else would want her, how she was so lucky to have Dean. She was terrified of him - she was terrified she'd end up in prison and Eggsy would be taken away and he'd have to live with Dean, what Dean would do to her sweet boy she didn't want to know.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean was at his bedroom door the first thing the next day, Eggsy’s arm had only gotten worse overnight, he was convinced it was broken, either way he knew he couldn't compete in his gymnastics tournament this year.  
“Get up now and for fucks sake put a jacket over that arm.” Snapped Dean. Eggsy scrambled to do as he was told, terrified of what would happen otherwise. Eggsy didn't question where they were going but he did get increasingly nervous as they started walking in areas his ma had told him not to go in.

They walked in silence, Eggsy tried not to cry as they walked. Was this it? Would Dean kill him? Would he be abandoned in an alley somewhere? They stopped outside of a boarded up shop, Dean did a funny knock and a man answered the door and stepped aside to let them in.

The room was surprisingly clean and Eggsy looked around the room, taking in the medical bed and numerous cupboards and shelves, his breathing quickening and the tears barely held back until Deans snapped command of “Sit on the bed and do what he says.” broke through the panic. Eggsy sat on the bed like he was told, the paper crinkling beneath him.  
“Give me your arm.” Eggsy did as he was told, gingerly showing the man his arm. He winced as the man started pressing it, a beta - he could smell it now, now he’d adjusted to the smell of rot and blood and medicine. “Broken arm, 500 to fix it.” he said in a matter of fact tone, looking at Dean.  
“Fine, just get it done.” muttered Dean walking out of the building.  
Eggsy watched as he went, the fear fading before he realised he was now alone with this beta he’d never met before. The beta didn't speak to Eggsy, only stood up and waled to the cupboards coming back with a basket of stuff before gesturing for Eggsy arm again. Eggsy whimpered as the beta handled his arm again, crying out as the man straightened it, black spots appearing in his vision, by the time they cleared he had a cast on his arm and the man was taking a wad of cash from Dean and telling him to come back in 8 weeks to remove the cast.  
“Out.” Barked Dean, “Now Muggsy.” he snapped when Eggsy didn't immediately move.  
They walked back to the flat in silence. Eggsy trailing behind Dean, it all felt different now. Dean was in charge, in control and there was nothing he could do about it, he felt different, older, life was cruel, survival would be the best he could hope for now. At least until he presented as an Alpha, then he could save his Ma, save himself, do his Da proud.

Dean started using him to deliver drugs to customers and pick up weapons from dealers after that - “to work his debt off", and after he stood in front of the blow meant for his mum Dean had taken that to mean that Eggsy was his personal punching bag.

Eggsy hated how this was his life now. Dean had told him in no uncertain terms that if it wasn’t him it would be his Ma. 

Eggsy would often lie awake in bed, ignoring the pain from his most recent beating, dreaming of getting away, of presenting as an alpha and wrapping his hands around Dean's throat and watching as his face purpled or stabbing him or suffocating him whilst he slept. But he knew it wouldn’t be that simple, if he killed Dean his gang would kill him and there’d be no one to protect his Ma, that’s even if he did succeed, if he didn’t Dean would kill him, slowly and his Ma would still be stuck with Dean only she wouldn’t have anyone to protect her. 

He knew there was almost no good way out of it, if he told anyone sure he’d be put into protective services - and that's even if they believed him, and besides he heard what happened to kids in those places but his Ma would be back to square one, only alone this time. 

If he ran away - same thing, only Dean would find him. Every single way he could get out would mean leaving his Ma alone with Dean. He could join the army or sommit, send his Ma all the money he got so she could get away but then it's not like she’d be safe she’d have to stay with Dean, she didn’t have any friends, not since Ella left, Dean had isolated his Ma completely. 

Eggsy settles into the new routine quickly.

Wake up. Hide the injuries as best as possible, which was usually pretty easy as Dean only hurt him in visible places if he was drunk or high or both. Hopefully grab breakfast. Drop off the drugs or weapons or whatever else Deans left him. Go to school. Eat lunch. Try and fit in with the other kids, which was hard when their biggest problems were what colour to use. Tell the teachers your fine, honestly. Run back to the flat. Drop off more stuff. Go to his clubs, he had to miss the tournament because of his wrist but he was building his strength back up. Come back. Eat, maybe. Put the lunch Ma made in his school bag for tomorrow. Get roughed up by Dean. Go to bed. Dream of killing Dean. Wake up. Repeat. 

Eggsy hates his new life, hates how weak he is, how scared of Dean he is, how he takes every last punch or kick or smashed bottle or knife, how he sits up for hours sometimes putting himself back together. He hates how quickly he learns to deal with his injuries on his own as going to the beta only made his debt to Dean bigger. He hates how quickly he learns how to blend out a bruise, how quickly his pain tolerance builds. 

Eggsy had just come in from his martial arts class, he liked his classes, it was easier to hide any bruises and those he couldn’t he could just say were from not breaking a fall properly or sparing. He pushed the door open and instantly noticed the black backpack. It was Deans, he’d fill it with whatever he wanted delivering, which was usually drugs. Eggsy put his school bag in his room and throwing a hoodie on before he slung the black backpack over his shoulders, glaring at the post it on the side that simply said ‘Rottie’ and headed out.

Eggsy knew where to go, Dean had threatened to carve the addresses of all his drop off points onto him when he’d got lost the first time, he’d memorised all the addresses since then knowing Dean was serious. 

Eggsy pulled his hoodie tighter in a vain attempt to shield himself from the icy wind. He stared longingly at the alley that would shield him from the wind, but he forced his numb feet past, the alley would take longer and he wasn’t going to give Dean any reasons to beat him black, blue and bloody, no doubt he would anyway, but they were always worse when he did something. 

He shuddered as he thought of what had happened when he’d gotten lost. It had been his first drop off, London was a maze at the best of times, but in the dark with only an address - Eggsy had tried to find it, he really had. Dean hadn’t been happy when Eggsy had turned up at the flat at four in the morning, goods undelivered. Eggsy shuddered at the mere memory of that beating, he had angry pink scars from that night, and he thought the beatings before that had been bad. It probably hadn't helped that Dean was completely drunk and had just done a good amount of coke, judging by the smears on the glass coffee table, before he walked in. 

Dean had flown into a rage, thrown him through said glass coffee table that his Da and Mum had spent hours choosing. It had shattered as soon as he landed, glass shards impaling him, blood almost instantly staining the carpet, screaming about how he’d just lost him thousands of pounds, how he was useless, how he now owed Dean more. Dean's fists had hauled him up by his bloody neck only to knock him down onto the glass again with a beer bottle over his head, Dean and his gang rained kicks and punches down on him for what felt like hours before getting bored, leaving Eggsy to crawl to his room. He had been up for hours picking glass shards from his skin, stifling sobs with his bloody hand. He’d skipped school for the next week, refusing to go until his injuries had faded, Grey had taken him to the beta on Dean's orders, got him fixed. Of course that meant that he owed Dean more money, so his week off school consisted of doing deliveries for Dean and generally being at his beck and call.

The crunch of shattered glass under his dirty trainers brought him back to reality. He walked up the stairs and knocked on the door to Rotties flat, it swung open almost instantly.  
“’Bout time.” Muttered Rottie pulling him inside none too gently. Eggsy kept his head down and wrinkled his nose at the smell. The smell was almost overpowering after being outside. Rotties stale scent mixing with the other peoples scents, all of them overlapped with the smell of cigarette smoke, drugs, cheap alcohol and mold. 

Eggsy stood near the door, waiting for the backpack to be chucked back at him, this time sans the heroin. Feeling eyes on him he looked up, Pug was leering at him at him, Eggsy quickly looked down. Pug was a fat beta who smelt of stale grease and bad coffee. 

The bag was thrown at him, he caught it, slipping the empty bag onto his shoulders.  
“You can go now Mugsy.” Rottie snarled advancing towards him. Eggsy didn’t need any more injuries so darted out of the apartment, the laughs of Dean's gang getting quieter with every step. The sky rumbled and Eggsy swore as it started to rain, he sped up and pulled his hoodie tighter, aching to get to bed and lie down.

He’d taken the more sheltered route back, he’d only wanted to stay dry and now he was in an abandoned building with a dead body and bloody hand and fuck Dean was gonna kill him.

He’d gone through the building ‘cause it was cold and raining and would lead him onto some sheltered streets, it was a five minute detour but worth it as far as he was concerned. 

The hairs on the back of his neck had started to rise after he entered the building, and that was when he caught the scent of one of Dean's gang - stale grease and coffee. He turned into a corridor hoping the beta wasn’t following him, but his fears were confirmed when the man made a sharp turn into the corridor. Eggsy had turned into one of the rooms and stayed quiet hoping he’d go past. 

“Come out, come out wherever you are.” Pug taunted “No need to play coy, I saw how you was looking at me back there.” 

Eggsy was terrified. His eyes darted around the room in hopes of finding a weapon, he was ten not stupid, they’d warned them about pedos at school but they’d never said what to do if you were trapped with one. A window had been smashed at some point, scattering glass shards across the floor, he went to reach for one as quietly as possible but the door burst open, revealing a grinning Pug, his pungent scent cloying the air like smoke. The man lunged at him with surprising speed for someone his size and pinned him to the floor, Eggsy had tried screaming but the man had pulled a rag from his pocket and shoved it in his mouth. He let go of Eggsy’s small wrists to pull down his fly. 

Eggsy had seized the opportunity, adrenaline coursing through his veins as his hands scrabbled for the nearest piece of glass. They came into contact with the cool glass just as Pug grabbed the waistband of Eggsy’s trousers. Eggsy gripped the jagged glass in both his hands and plunged it all the way into the man's eye, Pug had screamed and writhed causing the jagged edges to cut into his own palms like the teeth of a feral dog, leaving deep gouges that caused blood to run down his hoodie sleeves like the rain had done not minutes before but Eggsy didn’t even feel it at all - he too high on adrenaline. 

The fat man had collapsed on top of him, winding Eggsy's small body with his weight.

Eggsy got his breath back and his head was surprisingly clear, he shoved the fat man off him with bloody hands and small grunts, and not a second too soon as, as soon as he’d escaped from beneath the fat corpse the dead man shit himself. 

Eggsy lent against a wall eyeing the dead man as if he’d wake up and lunge or him again. Dean was gonna kill him. He was gonna die. Eggsy's breaths became shallow and harsh, for a second it was the night he’d got lost again. He could see Dean in front of him, his hands around his neck, laughing whilst he watched Eggsy struggle his feet kicking out uselessly. As quickly as it came the vision was gone, Eggsy gasped in air rubbing his neck and wincing as his hands touched where the bruises had been. 

“Okay.” Eggsy muttered to himself, his mind whirring. He had to leave. He made a mad dash for the exit. He’d go back to the flat, Dean would beat him up like he did every night, tonight would be worse though, for coming in late, but then he’d go to bed, and he wouldn’t mention it to anyone, if Dean asked why he was late he’d say he lost track of time or something, that he’d seen the police so gone a different way. No one had to know it was him, no one would have to know he was even there.

So that’s what he’d done. He ran home and didn’t tell a soul. He’d gotten a harsh beating when Dean found out the man was dead after three months, but by that point the rats, crows and decomposition had got to him so they didn’t see the claw marks on his face that Eggsy’s fingernails had left or Eggsy’s footprints in the dust as the birds wings and vermin’s feet and fur had taken care of that. Only Eggsy knew he was the one who killed him, and that’s how it would stay.

As the year went on it became rarer and rarer for Eggsy to show up to school or his clubs. Dean wanted him to deliver more stuff and was getting meaner, his mum was barely ever out of her room and the flat smelt like new people every day. He was sick of it. He was sick of being at Deans beck and call, sick of never seeing his Ma. So Eggsy decided to be brave, he stayed inside at break time and told someone what happened to him in the flat.

The school counsellor, an alpha who smelt of rain and pine trees with a kind face, had sat listening to the whole story and declared it to be just that, a story. He said Eggsy had made it up for attention, that everyone knew he got those injuries from fights, that he skipped school to join a gang. 

Dean found out somehow and Eggsy had got one of the worst beatings he’d ever received and the school counsellor informed everyone he was a juvenile delinquent and mentally unstable, that he was desperate for attention and that no one should believe anything Eggsy said as he was a compulsive liar. Eggsy didn’t know what he’d done to make him hate him that much. 

He’d learnt a few things that day though. One - if someone didn’t want to believe something, they wouldn’t. And Two - he was completely on his own and he should never trust anyone again, particularly adults and people who were meant to help.


End file.
